Valuable lessons from mumsie and teta

I can definitely admit that as a child and teenager I had little to no appreciation for the love and wisdom of my mom and grandma. When I look back at what I put them through I cringe and feel a certain amount of regret. Although I've always loved them both, there have been many dark times in my life where that love was masked with flat out disobedience and disrespect. I'm not saying I'm perfect now, but what I AM saying is that I have a more profound appreciation and understanding for what they were trying to do.

Here are a few pieces of wisdom that my mom and teta (that's Arabic for grandma) taught me throughout the years.

1. Be independent. My mom really drove home this point in us. My sister and I ought to be leaders, not followers and not depend on anyone unless you absolutely have to. Because of this one point, I have been able to participate in a lot of things that I otherwise would have been too uncomfortable to do, such as: go to movies alone, engage in social activities with new people, watch live shows alone, take various acting and dance classes and basically anything else I felt like trying that no one else was interested in. It is still a very empowering statement.

2. Do what you have to do first, so you can do what you want to do later. This is one of my grandma's teachings. I remember as a child when my sister and I got home from school my grandma would often be there with a warm home cooked meal and then sit us down to do out homework before we could play or watch TV. She used to say that  we had to do our chores and homework first in case something comes up later that hinders us and then afterwards we can relax knowing that our chores are done. A lesson I try to use until today. That is the main reason I am not a procrastinator.

3. Be kind even to those who are unkind. This lesson was taught by both my mom and my teta. No matter what people do to them, their kind heart doesn't waiver. They don't let the cruelty of others change who they are. It's a quiet and almost passive sort of strength; the way they don't feel that they need to repay evil with evil. It's a Christian value that is very hard to put into practice but my mom and grandma do it anyway.

4. Family is the most important thing. My grandma always made sure that we spent lots of time together with our cousins and aunts and uncles. She always asks us to keep in touch no matter what. My mom kept that same value with my sister and I and although my sister is 3.5 years younger than me, when we were kids, my mom always enforced the idea that if one of us does something or goes somewhere then we can't leave the other one behind. We are never jealous of one another and we love each other and our family very much as a result.

There are many more valuable lessons from my mumsie and my teta but I think that's enough for now. Time to get back to Eli and hanging out with teta.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends and family.

Lots of love

Maureen

5 lies that are told to scare new parents

There are a lot of misconceptions out there about parenthood, especially from those who have never experienced it. In particular, you hear a lot of negative comments about how difficult babies are and how much you will have to give up. I even heard it many times from other parents: "oh get ready, you have no clue how challenging it is." They said, or "get as much sleep as you can now because you'll never get to sleep like that again." Those were the responses I received to being pregnant and about to have a child. It felt like people were trying to scare me or even deter me from having the child. I remember thinking how odd it was that most of the reactions I received were within this frame of mind. In response, I always answered back "I can't wait to meet baby" or "I'm looking forward to it!" To which people usually gave me this look like you say that NOW, but just wait and see.

Well, now it has been 5 months that my little Eli has been in my life and I wanted to share 5 lies that are told to new parents:

1. Babies are insanely dirty and messy. Babies are not as messy as people make them out to be. Yes of course they pee and poo like a gazillion times a day. There's also spit up and slobber eventually but it's not like they are the Tasmanian devil... They are tiny so as long as you have plenty of bibs, wipes and diapers you can keep them (and yourself) fairly clean.

2. Babies smell. Babies don't stink. They naturally smell great and are super cuddly. Their poop stinks but as long as you change that poopy diaper right away (and you keep your baby clean) you will have a wonderful smelling baby.

3. Babies are boring to care for. Babies can be incredibly entertaining. I love watching him learn and adjust to life. Every new skill is something to celebrate and you feel absolutely ecstatic when baby reaches his milestones. They are funny too. Watching Eli try so hard to grasp at something or babble is so funny to me, especially when his efforts are given with a stern or serious expression.

4. You have to give up your life once you have a child. I think this is one of the more common lies I've heard. What people don't seem to understand is that as you grow and transition through life, your interests change but you do not. I still love to dance and be creative and I still do that, the only difference is that now I do it mostly at home, with the person I love most in the whole world. You don't give up your life, you alter it. It becomes a new version of what you were doing before and most parents will tell you that they're actually happier with this version of their lives, which should come as no surprise because as you grow, your interests change. When it comes to your goals, they may be more challenging to achieve buy they are usually still doable and if due to some extraneous circumstance you have to put your goal on hold, you usually don't mind too much as long as you can provide a happy life for your baby.

5. Having a baby can ruin your marriage. I'm not sure why this is such a common thing for pregnant or new moms to hear but I have definitely heard it a lot in some way, shape or form. Some say the husband becomes jealous of the mother's love for her child. Others say having a new baby shifts the romantic focus off a relationship. Still others say the stress of a new baby can take it's toll on the parents, therefore resulting in a tired and cranky couple. However, in my personal experience I've found that although both of us have slightly shifted our way of thinking, this baby seems to have strengthened the bond between my husband and I. I don't think either one of us would ever be jealous of our child because we both love him so much and we love each other.

What has your parenting experience been like? Or have you heard people say these lies and if so what was your response?

Lots of love

Maureen

3 ways to deal with hardships

Hey y'all!

Have you ever had someone or something knock you down? Have you ever had your expectations lowered by an unexpected obstacle? Life can sometimes hit you with surprise problems and let downs, until it eats away at your self confidence and discourages your dreams. Here are 3 tips I have learned to deal with the hardships of life:

Find the message in the madness: Every season in life leaves a residue in your character. In order to mold you in a positive and healthy way, you must try to look objectively at your circumstance and ask yourself the question: What has this experience taught me? How can I use what I have learned going forward? Doing this, will break down the immensity of your stressor and help you cope with whatever you are going through (hopefully). In addition, it will help you avoid similar problems in the future because you will have learned how to deal with and hopefully avoid those same problems.

Find and lean on support: No matter what you may think, everyone needs someone and usually more than one person to talk to and support them through their difficult times. Having that support could mean the difference between recovery and surrender. This is so important. If you are reading this and can not think of a single person you can talk to than please talk to me. Send me a message and I will do my best to be supportive and help you in whatever way I can. Having support can help put things in perspective and shrink the problem down to something manageable.

Live in the moment: There are times and situations that benefit from planning ahead but when you are going through a hard time, sometimes thinking of the arduousness of the task ahead can feel daunting. In these cases, I suggest living moment to moment. You will find that pretty soon the obstacle is behind you and the next season has begun.

Just remember that nothing is forever and things are constantly changing. The Goliath like problem that you are experiencing today will be a distant memory tomorrow. Take courage and if you are going through hell, keep going, don't let your struggles be in vain. Continue on and see how the experience transforms you in a positive way and helps you build yourself up. Find mentors that can help guide and support you and most of all: Don't lose sight of who you are. The devil is in the delusion meaning sometimes you get side tracked and forget or forgo your principles. Don't let that happen. If anything, let this situation strengthen the morals you live by and make you a more secure and confident individual.

Well that's all for now friends!

Lots of love

Maureen

Cornbread, colours and the many faces of Eli

I absolutely love any opportunity I get to be creative. The idea of making something great and unique is super exciting and rewarding to me. Lately, within the last year or two, I have gotten into cooking and baking (one of the newest outlets I've discovered for being creative). I usually cook or bake whatever I personally feel like eating (I am in love with southern soul food) but every now and then I'll make something that the hubby or someone else will love and then I'll cook it especially for them once in a while. One example is my cornbread (it's really more like corn cake because of how sweet it is). I've made cornbread many times now because my husband loves it but this last time was the best yet! I used a recipe off the Internet and added some cinnamon and rum. *Just a warning, this corn bread is very tasty but super unhealthy so I recommend saving it for special occasions.

I wish there was some way you could smell the cake through the computer because it smells heavenly, like what I imagine a southern kitchen would smell like at momma's house right before a big family dinner hahaha. If you'd like the recipe click HERE


The other update is on Elijah, my son. He's been growing at an insane rate. He is only 2 months old but his pediatrician said he's the size of a 5 month old! He is already wearing clothing for 6 month old babies. Yup, he's my big little guy *sigh*. He is so expressive and dramatic about everything it makes me laugh. He has no shortage of kooky facial expressions to melt my heart. So I though I'd share some of my favorites with you all:

and finally.... my favorite expression.... the one I live for:

Those smiles are the best thing in life!



In other news, I think this may be the last week with my fiery red hair.

I love this colour, it makes me feel vibrant and sassy but I'm too anxious to try something new. I'm going to continue with the unnatural colours for a little while, until I get it out of my system. I absolutely love colour and the way it makes everything prettier. I'm sure my mom won't be thrilled but she'll get used to it eventually, she always does. So say goodbye to the red and I will post an update with my new hair colour once it's in effect.


Lastly, I just wanted to deliver a quick message that's been on my heart lately. So many people seem to be suffering with various illnesses from depression, to cancer and everything in between. Others have been going through financial hardships or relationship issues. I just want to let you all know that my heart is with you and to be strong through this difficult time. The great thing about time is that it is constantly moving forward, so these difficulties will soon be a thing of the past.  I can't imagine how hard life has been for some of you and I'm sure it's hard for many people to understand but I do believe in the age old adage: "whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". God is allowing you to be refined through the flames and giving you a great story of victory to tell. I hope your pain passes quickly and that your experience allows God to reveal something wonderful to you whether it be showing you that you are more loved than you thought, more resilient than you expected or any number of other things. 

ta ta for now my loves

Maureen

Amazing love

Love is a word that is hard to describe. Many great poets and writers throughout history have attempted to express this profound emotion. Now that I have a son, the word seems almost too shallow to use to explain how I feel about my baby. I have been very privileged to know love in my life. Love from my family, from my friends and from my partner. I don't want to sound like those loves were not as true or strong but the feeling I get when I see my son is more powerful than anything I've ever felt in my life. Here is God's truest form of love, without any expectations or limits. He has made me change how I feel about others and about myself.

I have a deeper appreciation for my parents and elders. I can better grasp the sacrifices and work they put in for me and my siblings and although I could never repay them fully for what they have done for me, I intend to follow in their footsteps and pray that I may be as good a parent to my baby and future children.

I am already dreading going back to work, even though I still have over 6 months of maternity leave to go. I will miss him so much. If I could work at home and get paid in baby smiles I'd be the happiest mommy ever. His smiles are worth more to me than all the money in the world. I hope and pray that all of you get to know love like this in it's all consuming and pure form.


In other news, I have made a review video of the urban decay perversion mascara on YouTube and will attempt to do more regular review videos. If you're interested you can watch and subscribe to see the upcoming videos Here and I have a second (older) channel Here.

well ta ta for now my loves

Maureen

Welcome Elijah!

On June 14th, 2014 Dumo and I were blessed to receive a new reason for living. His name is Elijah after the great prophet of the old testament. We know that he too will be great.

It has been the most challenging and yet most rewarding week of my life. We are both getting accustomed to one another and it has been an emotional roller coaster but more than anything I have felt my heart grow every time I look at him. I've experienced a lot of love in my life but I think the love I have for my son may be the most powerful I have yet experienced and it makes me wonder about the kind of love God feels for his children.

It has also taught me a great deal about myself. I've always though of myself as a pretty calm and collected person but if you looked at my behaviour this week you'd probably never know that. I have been a wreck of panic each time he does something unfamiliar which is almost everything since I've never been a mother before. But, I am slowly learning every day and I cherish every moment with him, even the challenging ones.

You guys will have to excuse me for not really posting any pictures I just feel he is too young and it's an area of my life I'm very protective of. However, if you'd like to see some just ask me and I would be happy to send some to you privately.

Well that's all for now loves

Maureen

Due date and hospital

Well everyone, today is baby's official due date and what do you know, I'm currently at the hospital with my husband. You'd think I l would be wheeled down to the delivery room with Dumo by my side making sure I'm not passing out from the labour pain. Ironically however, we are not at the hospital for me at all. Baby is still snug and cozy in my womb. We are here for hubby.

He tore his achilles tendon playing soccer  yesterday and we are now here to repair it.  He could be out of commission for several weeks or even months. Talk about timing.

I believe everything happens for a reason though and that includes this injury as well as baby still sitting in my belly. I think this will also make a great story to tell the baby when he or she gets older.

Well that was my very brief update for now. Hopefully I'll be posting a new post soon about our new little one arriving.

Much love

Maureen