5 very difficult things to do to be truly happy!

Hey all, so today I felt like sharing my wisdom with you all... lol what little God has granted me. There are tons of books and movies and shows all giving advice on how to be happy. They usually say things like meditate and stay positive and do things for yourself etc... which is all great in theory but I find that in practice it doesn't lead to long term happiness. I believe real happiness isn't so easy to achieve and requires a lot of effort on our part but it's totally worth it in the end. Here are 5 things that I personally have found to lead to deep meaningful happiness that lasts.

1. Be Selfless: I sometimes tell people I meet that if I could create my own Utopia it would be a world where every single creature on this earth put others before themselves. A concept that at first seems kind of crazy because people will right away question "well what if people take advantage", but think about it, if every person on this earth did that, then for every person that you are sacrificing for there are over 100 willing to do that for you. There would be no more need for money because there would be no poverty, everyone would feel loved and depression would cease to exist because no matter how bad things get people around you are always there to lift your spirits. It's easy for us to say things like "all that matters is that you love yourself" but the reality is that we do not live on this earth alone. We were not created to survive completely alone. We rely on each other and our communities whether you like it or not. Therefore, we should also as a community encourage each other with sincerity and true love for one another. I believe loving someone feels just as good as being loved. So try that out... don't be afraid that people will hurt you or use you, and if you are still not convinced, maybe you should question your circle of friends and ask yourself, are these people truly my friends if I'm so scared that they will use me?

2. Forgive: Definitely one of the hardest things to do ever!! Especially if you have blatantly been wronged and the person shows no remorse. But there are 2 truths about forgiveness that are important to true happiness:

1.  Forgiving does not mean forgetting. Forgiving someone does not mean that you must act like the wrong thing never happened. It does not mean that whatever wrong he did was erased but instead think of it like this: You are saying to that person who wronged you that they do not have to pay the debt. Instead you pay the debt for them through your pain. Why should I pay for the thing they did wrong to me you ask? because of truth number 2
2. Forgiveness is not something you do for the other person, it's something that you should do for your own happiness. Think about it, this person that wronged you, wherever they are they are probably not worrying about what they did to you or if they are paying the price that doesn't remove the burden of anger and bitterness from your heart and mind. You are the one living with this darkness that you hold on to. You must let go of that anger and bitterness. Emancipate yourself from your misery and move on to allow healing and restoration. 

An important note about these truths, they do not come instantly and that is OK and normal. It takes time for the heart to heal which is fine. Someone does something against you and you are angry and hurt, that's completely understandable but what I am talking about is clinging to that feeling for long periods of time. Everyone is different and needs different amounts of time to grieve or process things but the thing I want to stress is not to sulk or dwell on these emotions but instead try and use them for good. For instance, when someone does something wrong to you say to yourself "wow that felt really terrible, I'm going to make it a point not to do that to someone else" instead of saying "well I had to go through that so you should also have to go through that."

3. Live in the Moment: You hear people say this a lot but it's quite difficult to do because our culture was designed to cater to the future. Some friends and I were just talking about this yesterday. From a young age it is drilled into our subconscious "Suffer now so that 10-30 years down the line you may be happy" but personally that has not worked for me. I just end up suffering now and probably also suffering later lol. We always say life is short but most people don't realize just how short until they lose a close loved one. That's when many people wake up to the fact that you must seize the day and make the best out of your situation now. Find the smallest things that make you happy and make sure you take the time to really be thankful for them and appreciate them. Sometimes it's just a great cup of coffee or a blue sky or a great song or a friendly co-worker or the smell of the bakery in the morning. No matter what little indulgence you enjoy, make sure that you focus on it at that time and don't let it escape. You'll find that by doing this your mood and spirit will lift significantly. I find some of the most unhappy and unpleasant people are those who are completely focused on their future and don't make time in the now for little pleasures. I'm not saying to live as if now is the only moment but I think the now should be your MAIN focus and the future should take second. It's counter intuitive but if you really want to be happy you must make the most of your time now.

4. Smile and Laugh: I love to crack jokes and pranks even at work, it just makes life more interesting and people tend to feel more comfortable with someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously. A word of caution, crack jokes and pranks when it's appropriate to do so. I wouldn't recommend pranking your boss during a business meeting or anything like that. There are harmless jokes and pranks you can make that will liven up your day and your co-workers day. Another thing I once heard and it seems to be true for me is smile more, even when you're by yourself, you'll find that it does something to your brain... almost like a quick pick me up endorphin or something. Just the act of smiling will boost your mood. If anything it will make you feel like a total goof and make you laugh at the sight of yourself. A friend told me that he smiles at people just walking down the street, now personally this is a tough one for me, I don't think I can go that far but if you can, then by all means go for it! People might look at you funny but who cares, maybe someone will appreciate it and at least you will be in a good mood.

5. Move: Did you ever notice how positive and energized you feel after working out or doing some work outdoors or running or dancing? That's because being active releases endorphins that make you feel good. Do this on a regular basis and you'll feel good inside and out. You'll be healthier and feel more positive. Not everyone likes the same types of activities so find the one that you enjoy most. Some people like to run, others like martial arts, others like dance and still others like yoga or tai chi. Whatever your activity, try and stick to it and do it as much as you can and you'll see how much happier you will become. Also, I would strongly advise not waiting on others to do your activity. Take a chance and go out on your own... you won't be on your own for long if it's a group activity, you'll soon make friends with like minded people who are also interested in the activity you're doing and that will encourage you to stick to it. Trust me, that is much better than dragging your friend along who does not really want to be there in the first place and then if they don't like the activity they will discourage you from going again. No matter what the activity just start somewhere and the world has a way of encouraging positive actions.

I hope you guys enjoy my tips, all these tips in combination are, I believe, the key to true happiness. Enjoy life and the blessings it brings.

Until the next post

TATA!!!

Maureen