I can definitely admit that as a child and teenager I had little to no appreciation for the love and wisdom of my mom and grandma. When I look back at what I put them through I cringe and feel a certain amount of regret. Although I've always loved them both, there have been many dark times in my life where that love was masked with flat out disobedience and disrespect. I'm not saying I'm perfect now, but what I AM saying is that I have a more profound appreciation and understanding for what they were trying to do.
Here are a few pieces of wisdom that my mom and teta (that's Arabic for grandma) taught me throughout the years.
1. Be independent. My mom really drove home this point in us. My sister and I ought to be leaders, not followers and not depend on anyone unless you absolutely have to. Because of this one point, I have been able to participate in a lot of things that I otherwise would have been too uncomfortable to do, such as: go to movies alone, engage in social activities with new people, watch live shows alone, take various acting and dance classes and basically anything else I felt like trying that no one else was interested in. It is still a very empowering statement.
2. Do what you have to do first, so you can do what you want to do later. This is one of my grandma's teachings. I remember as a child when my sister and I got home from school my grandma would often be there with a warm home cooked meal and then sit us down to do out homework before we could play or watch TV. She used to say that we had to do our chores and homework first in case something comes up later that hinders us and then afterwards we can relax knowing that our chores are done. A lesson I try to use until today. That is the main reason I am not a procrastinator.
3. Be kind even to those who are unkind. This lesson was taught by both my mom and my teta. No matter what people do to them, their kind heart doesn't waiver. They don't let the cruelty of others change who they are. It's a quiet and almost passive sort of strength; the way they don't feel that they need to repay evil with evil. It's a Christian value that is very hard to put into practice but my mom and grandma do it anyway.
4. Family is the most important thing. My grandma always made sure that we spent lots of time together with our cousins and aunts and uncles. She always asks us to keep in touch no matter what. My mom kept that same value with my sister and I and although my sister is 3.5 years younger than me, when we were kids, my mom always enforced the idea that if one of us does something or goes somewhere then we can't leave the other one behind. We are never jealous of one another and we love each other and our family very much as a result.
There are many more valuable lessons from my mumsie and my teta but I think that's enough for now. Time to get back to Eli and hanging out with teta.
Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends and family.
Lots of love
Maureen
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